What you think of me is none of my business. It sounds strange. Surely, my reputation in the eyes of others is my business? Most people struggle to come to terms with this concept. In a world where people virtually sell their souls for a glimpse of success and, television is dominated by a constant […]
Continue readingWould you say that you are the type of person that is easily influenced by others? Do you find yourself agreeing just to keep the peace or to be part of the group? If so, this means that you are not really being true to yourself. You are not allowing your personality, thoughts and feelings […]
Continue readingApproval is like a killer drug. It becomes addictive and you quickly develop a need for more. When you have a need for approval you value the beliefs, opinions and needs of others above your own. Their opinion of your is far more important to you than your own view of yourself. Receiving disapproval becomes […]
Continue readingApproval seeking is one of the most self-destructive behaviours you can adopt. It strips you of your self-esteem and self-confidence. The ultimate antidote to approval seeking is to be yourself. The irony of approval seeking is that the people you most approve of are those who are not afraid to be themselves in any given […]
Continue readingApproval seeking is a pointless pursuit where you give up your right to your own identity, opinions and beliefs in order to be liked and respected by others. Needing the approval of one person is bad but when you need to be approved of by everyone, it’s disastrous. You live in a constant state of […]
Continue readingWhen you work hard, it is nice to be recognised for your efforts. You want others to express their approval. There is nothing wrong with wanting others to approve of your work, in fact, it is quite healthy. When it becomes a need for approval, you have problems. Not only do you want their approval; […]
Continue readingIn his excellent book ‘Walking on Water’, the late Anthony De Mello dedicated one chapter to discussing the most dangerous drug in the world. At first, I assumed that De Mello was going to talk about dangerous narcotics e.g. cocaine or heroin. Alternatively, he could have discussed addictive prescription drugs. Instead, and to my surprise, […]
Continue readingApproval seeking behaviour sees you put your own dreams and ambitions to one side. You are no longer motivated by your own vision for life. Instead, your motivation comes from your need to win the approval of others. Their opinion of you, and of life, becomes more important than your own views. There are times […]
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