Would you say that you are the type of person that is easily influenced by others? Do you find yourself agreeing just to keep the peace or to be part of the group? If so, this means that you are not really being true to yourself. You are not allowing your personality, thoughts and feelings to emerge. It is often more difficult to be viewed as the outspoken person or the one that has a different point of view. If you want to become your own person, this is a step that you are going to have to take at some point in your life.

When discussing a subject that you feel strongly about, there is nothing wrong with stating your thoughts and feelings on the topic. Even if others disagree with your views. You need to have the confidence to air your feelings. It is not always easy but if you want to live a happy and healthy life, you must be authentic.

By airing your views to others they may see you in a different light. They might not even agree or understand where you got your point of view from. But there should be no judgement from either side. You are definitely entitled to your views, as are they.

It takes confidence to be the one to be in opposition to anything. It is much easier to stay silent or just nod your head in agreement. It takes guts to speak out, but when you do you will feel so proud of yourself for doing so.

While it is easy to allow others to influence your life you should not let anyone do this all the time. To get out of this scenario you want to surround yourself with people who are open to everyone just being themselves. This might be dressing the way you want to, having different views or only eating specific foods. No one should judge you for your actions. They should just appreciate that your actions are only an extension of the real you.

​Assertiveness Tactics Report

Preventing others from exerting unwanted influence over you requires assertiveness. You can learn some helpful tactics with my FREE Assertiveness Tactics Report.

Get Your FREE Copy Here

How to reduce the influence of others

Of course there will always be times when others will provide a positive influence on your thoughts and feelings. This is fine but if you are being influenced to think, say or do things that you don’t agree with, you need to take action.

Here are some simple steps to reduce the influence that others exert over you:

1. Know your own thoughts and feelings

believe you can fly do others influence your decisions

When it comes to subjects that you care about, it is imperative that you are fully aware of your own thoughts and feelings about it. Take the time to reflect upon the issues that concern you. Explore your thoughts and feelings and try to understand why you think the way you do.

​As human beings, we are naturally people pleasers. We want people to like to us so, we pay great attention to their thoughts, opinions and interests. The consequence of this is that we don’t pay enough attention to our own thoughts, opinions and interests.  It is easy to be influenced by others when you don’t know what is important to you.

With the continuous growth in media, social media, marketing and advertising, we are always being bombarded with messages from others; telling us what should be important to us. If you don’t take time out to understand yourself, you are always going to be at the mercy of others and influence they are attempting to peddle.

One of the most rewarding things you can ever do is to take the time to get to know yourself. Your most important relationships should be with yourself. When this happens, you are less vulnerable to the influence of others.

​Key Point

It is impossible to stand up for what you really want when you don’t know what you want. Take the time to know and understand yourself and you will start living by your own agenda.

​Values based living

​A great start to make in reducing the influence of others is to get to know your own values and start living by them. 'Values Based Living' will show you how.

2. Keep a journal

failure do others influence your decisions

To help you think through the issues which are important to you, there are few tools better than a journal. On a daily basis, you can write about what is on your mind and how you feel about it. When you write these things down, it actually forces you to think through them thoroughly.

You do not need to evaluate and judge as you write; just write whatever is going through your mind .You will soon find though that your thinking on each subject becomes clearer and as it does, it becomes more difficult for others to influence your thinking without a coherent and convincing argument.

Keeping a journal is powerful because it is a meditative process. It requires you to block out the outside world and look inwards. As you do, you get a better understanding of yourself and you are better able to think through the problems and challenges you face.

When you have thought through your opinion, you are less susceptible to the influence of others because you have given your own views proper consideration.

​Key Point

Journaling is a simple way to take a little time out, block out the outside world and; explore your own thoughts, feelings, opinions and life. Taking time to work through your problems allows you to identify solutions which are tailored to you.

3. Practice saying ‘No’

faith in fools do others influence your decisions

Despite the fact that it only contains two letters, many people find ‘No’ to be the most difficult word in the world to say. This is usually because they so rarely say ‘No’ to others. If you don’t say it when needed, then you are giving others control over your life, your decisions and your time.

If you find that you are like this then you need to get some practice saying ‘No’. Every day, you deal with a number of issues which are not that important to anyone. These issues can provide you with an opportunity to get some practice at saying ‘No’.

The more accustomed you become to saying that little phrase, the easier it will be for you to stand your ground and say it when something important pops up.

I am not suggesting that you become a total pain in the butt but adding the word ‘No’ to your vocabulary, just a few times a day, will have a positive effect on your confidence, your time management and more.

​Key Point

Saying No is not about being rude or selfish. It is about the realisation that you are here to live your own life and you must put yourself front and centre in your own life. You must say No to other people’s priorities, so you can say Yes to your own.

​Saying No is not about being rude or selfish. It is about the realisation that you are here to live your own life and you must put yourself front and centre in your own life.

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4. Don’t excuse or justify

self doubt do others influence your decisions

It would be an incredibly boring world if we always agreed with each other. If you disagree with others; that is perfectly acceptable. There is absolutely no need to excuse or justify yourself for disagreeing. Others should be well able to accept that you differ and, if they cannot do that, then the problem lies with them, not you.

When someone refuses to accept that you disagree, it is not a sign of a problem with you. It is generally a sign of their own insecurity. Think about it for a minute. If you are secure in your own views; should it matter that someone else disagrees with you? Of course not.

The world is not black and white. There is usually more than one right way to look at something and more than one wrong way. So, don’t worry about disagreement. Instead, respect that you and, the person you disagree with, have the honesty and openness to express your own view​s..

It is ​important that you hold yourself to the same standard i.e. if somebody disagrees with you, you should not require them to excuse or justify their opinion.​

​Key Point

When you stop seeing everything as black and white, you become more confident about having your own views and, expressing them. You realise that disagreement is not important.

​Passive aggressive behaviour

​If somebody is demanding that you justify your opinions, it can be a sign of Passive Aggressive Behaviour. You can learn powerful strategies to deal with this with 'Tackling Passive Aggressive Behaviour'.

5. Choose your peers wisely

trust yourself do others influence your decisions

There are people in this world who will always try to pressure you into agreeing with everything they say. They will strive to make you feel guilty for having the audacity to express an alternative view point.

These people cause more headaches than any sane person can handle. They love the sound of their own voice and have little, if anything, to offer to a mutually beneficial relationship. You really don’t want people like this as friends or peers.

Alternatively, there are many people who will always be delighted to hear your opinion, even if they don’t agree with it. They will value your thoughts, values and beliefs and they will actually be happier when you stick to what you believe rather than seek agreement for the sake of agreement. Not only do these people make better friends and peers; they also make great role models.

Nobody has the right to try to pressure you or, exert unwanted influence over you. You need to remove these people from your life and instead, focus on all the great people who would be more than happy to be part of your life.

​Key Point

If people are trying to pressure you or harass you into agreeing with them and their decisions; you need to step up and start pushing back. On rare occasions, this may even require moving these people out of your life.

​Assertiveness Tactics Report

Preventing others from exerting unwanted influence over you requires assertiveness. You can learn some helpful tactics with my FREE Assertiveness Tactics Report.

Get Your FREE Copy Here

6. Call them out

unfold your myth do ohters influence your decisoins

When somebody attempts to pressure you into changing your view point; it is unacceptable. You should feel free to call them out on it e.g.

'You just want me to agree with you but on this occasion I cannot do so’.

In many cases, they won’t have realised that they have crossed the line and this will bring them to their senses. ​We all feel better when others agree with us so, sometimes we push a little too far when we are debating with others. Everyone is guilty of it from time to time. You don’t have to be rude when calling them out; you only need to be assertive.

There are some people who will happily try to pressure you into agreeing with them because they think you are a ‘soft touch’. They think that they can boss you about and manipulate you. When you call them out, every time that they try to pressure you; they soon learn to take their disrespectful approach elsewhere.

​Key Point

It can feel very difficult to speak up to those who are pressuring you into agreeing with them. But, once you start speaking up for yourself, you will find that these people back off and, either they treat you with the respect you deserve or; they disappear from your life.

​How to Talk So Others Will Listen

​When seeking to reduce the influence others have over you, it is important that you learn to clearly state your own opinion using strong communication skills. 

'How to Talk So Others Will Listen' will teach you some excellent strategies to help you do this.

How to talk so others will listen 3d left


​So if you are feeling as though you are not living the life you were meant to. Stop allowing others to make your decisions. Take a stance and stand up for yourself. Choose your own path and be prepared to accept any consequence, good or bad that this might involve. You can be the person you truly want to be by taking action, starting today. This requires that you become more aware of who are and what you believe. You then need to learn to express and defend your positions. When you do, you will be much happier and more focused on creating the life you want.


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