Comfort is often seen as a desirable state. It is associated with security, relaxation, and satisfaction. However, when it comes to personal growth and achieving your best, comfort can be a significant barrier. Over the past couple of weeks, I have been watching the Olympics, with particular attention on the Irish participants. For such a small country, this Olympics has been our most successful to date, with 7 medals won. I have really enjoyed listening to RTÉ (the Irish state broadcaster) conducting interviews with our successful athletes after their events. I have found that some of the words offered by our medal winners have really hit home with me and made me realise that my love of comfort has held me back.
Rhys chose discomfort
On Saturday (August 3, 2024), Rhys McLenaghan won the Gold medal for the Men’s Pommel Horse. At the last Olympics, things went wrong for Rhys and he missed out on a medal. When interviewed after the event, Rhys was obviously upset but he made it clear that he was the type of person who would learn from the experience and use it for motivation to come back stronger. We now know that these were not empty words as evidenced by the beaming smile that was on display following Saturday’s success.
In his post-event interview, Rhys spoke of how things had been chaotic after the disappointment of the previous Olympics. But rather than seek comfort, he faced up to the discomfort and the chaos so that he could come back stronger. Most of us would have chosen the easy route but that is why most of us will never be an Olympic champion.
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Comfort in modern life
Modern life is designed to make life as comfortable as possible but this is not always a good thing. Everything from furniture, to cars, to the way we eat has been designed with comfort in mind. We have been conditioned to want to take the easy way out in every situation. Food is a good area to illustrate this. Our ancestors had to hunt and forage for food. Then with the advent of shops and supermarkets, they were able to purchase the food to bring back home to prepare and cook. Nowadays, we don’t even have to leave the house. We can order food via our phone and have it delivered, ready to eat, to our front door. This has led to us having an overabundance of poor quality conveniece food, and we expend zero calories to get it. Is it any wonder that so many of us suffer with Chronic illnesses such as diabetes, high blood pressure etc.
How comfort holds you back
In this article, I will explore how comfort might be holding you back and how stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to greater success and fulfilment:
1. Comfort breeds complacency
One of the primary ways comfort holds you back is by breeding complacency. When you are comfortable, you tend to stick with the status quo. You have just enough of what you need in order to survive. There is no motivation to change or improve because there is no immediate need to do so. This comfort creates a problem for your mind. You could try to get more of what you want but if you don’t succeed, you could make matters worse and lose some of what you already have. So, instead of having some ambition and drive, you are guided by the fear of loss.
But you were not put on this Earth to survive; you were put here to thrive, to be your best self. Nothing great comes without paying some price, usually in the form of challenge, effort and discomfort. The love of comfort encourages you to choose to be complacent rather than adventurous. This complacency can be detrimental to personal and professional growth. You may miss out on opportunities to learn new skills, take on challenging projects, or advance in your career because you are too comfortable with where you are. And the real kicker is that when you think you are standing still by choosing comfort, the world around you is moving on so, in actual fact, you are effectively going backwards.
Example
Imagine you are in a job that pays well and is easy to manage. While you might be content, you are not pushing yourself to learn more or take on new responsibilities. Over time, this can lead to stagnation in your career, making it harder to advance when you finally decide to make a move. And if you are forced to move (e.g. by redundancy) you will have failed to develop the skills and knowledge required for many of the positions you will now be applying for.
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2. Comfort zone limits your potential
The comfort zone is a psychological state where things feel familiar, and you feel in control. While it feels safe, it is also limiting. It is rooted in the idea that you can stand still in life and hold on to what you have got. But the world around you is constantly changing and if you don’t take on new challenges and improve your knowledge and skills, you are going to fail to keep up. Sooner or later, reality will hit you like a tonne of bricks and force you to take on the discomfort and challenge.
Think of all the people who used to work jobs where computers were not required. Those who embraced computers quickly opened up a world of opportunities for themselves while those who resisted the discomfort were eventually forced to step up to the plate but by the time they did, the gap between their knowledge and the knowledge they needed was far greater. By staying within their comfort zone, they had limited their experiences and their potential.
Growth happens when you push beyond your comfort zone and face new challenges. This growth then opens up new possibilities and opportunities for you. The biggest difference between the person you are and the person you wish to be is the size and frequency of the challenges you choose to take on. Comfort holds you back by encouraging you to stay in your comfort zone and avoid those challenges.
Example
An athlete who always trains at the same intensity level will not see significant improvements in performance. To reach their full potential, they need to push their limits, trying new techniques, increasing intensity, and competing against tougher opponents.
Related
Often, the most uncomfortable thing you can do is to say 'No' to tthe things that don't serve you. You can learn more with my article on Embracing Empowerment
3. Comfort avoids risk and failure
Comfort is often associated with a fear of risk and failure. People tend to avoid situations where there is a possibility of failure, preferring to stay in their safe and comfortable environments. Afterall, if you don’t take a risk you cannot fail. And if you never fail, you avoid a great deal of pain throughout your life. At least that is what you would think. But the truth is very different.
Failure is a crucial part of the learning process. Firstly, in order to fail, you have to have a clear idea of what you actually want to achieve. This clarity is essential any time you want to make progress, in any area of your life. Furthermore, it is through failure that you gain valuable insights and experiences that contribute to success. When things don’t go as you had planned, it provides you with the opportunity to analyse the situation and identify the key learning points, and the things you can change for your next attempt. Very few successes are achieved in a straight line. Most often, it is a gradual case of two steps forward, one step back, as you regularly fail and learn.
When you choose comfort, you are held back by the fact that you see failure as a permanent thing which must be avoided. When you choose to accept discomfort, you see both failure and the discomfort as temporary pain worth suffering so that you can make progress on your journey.
Example
Entrepreneurs who fear failure may never take the leap to start their own business. Those who do take the risk and fail learn from their mistakes, refine their strategies, and often come back stronger, eventually achieving success.
Related
Discover more reasons to seek discomfort, failure and risk with my article on Choosing the short-term pain
4. Comfort stifles creativity and innovation
Innovation and creativity thrive on challenges and new experiences. It is the obstacles you face along your journey to force you to turn inside and come up with creative and innovative solutions. When you are clear on what you want and where you want to get to, you can expect to see obstacles in your way. If you don’t, then you are not really challenging yourself.
Obstacles in your way are a clear sign that you have chosen goals which stretch you and force you to grow. And coming up with innovative and creative solutions to these problems produces a new level of growth which will allow you to take on even bigger challenges in the future.
When you are too comfortable, you keep things easy and within a level that you can comfortably cope with. You don’t seek out new challenges which denies you the opportunity for innovation and creativity Thus you don’t gain new perspectives or think outside the box. This can stifle growth and prevents you from becoming more of the person you really long to be.
Example
Consider a company that sticks to traditional methods and refuses to embrace new technologies. While their approach may have worked in the past, it prevents them from innovating and staying competitive in a rapidly changing market.
5. Comfort reduces resilience and adaptability
Facing and overcoming challenges builds resilience and adaptability. I have often heard people talk about how they are great in a crisis. This is a compliment but it also tells you something about their background- they have found themselves in many crises throughout their life. That is the only way to get good at anything, including dealing with a crisis i.e. exposure and practice. Because we have become so accustomed to comfort, we avoid any situation which proves difficult or escalates into a crisis. This then means that we do not develop the necessary skills, resilience and adaptability to cope when an unavoidable crisis does arise.
When you are too comfortable, you will not develop the resilience needed to cope with setbacks and adapt to changing circumstances. This leaves you ill-prepared to handle adversity when it inevitably arises. And although you can avoid some difficulties in life, you cannot avoid them all. Pain and suffering is coming your way at some stage. It is your ability to adapt and be resilient that will determine how long the pain and suffering stays with you. If you haven’t developed these skills, you are going to have a much more difficult time when things fall apart.
Ultimately, we all have to take our share of pain and suffering in life, you can choose to take it as you go along or, you can take it in much larger amounts by choosing comfort and trying to avoid difficulties.
Example
Someone who has always had a smooth career may struggle significantly if they suddenly face a job loss or major industry change. They may have chosen the comfort of the job they know but when things go south, they may not even know how to look for a new job. In contrast, someone who has faced and overcome various challenges is likely to adapt more quickly and find new opportunities.
Related
Seeking discomfort requires you to be willing to take real risks to stand up for what you believe in. Check out my article on Standing up for your values in the toughest times
6. Comfort leads to boredom and dissatisfaction
Ironically, too much comfort can lead to boredom and dissatisfaction. We all have a need for growth and adventure. Think of how humans have lived throughout history and you will see that it is only recent generations that we have placed such a large emphasis on comfort. Before that, humans constantly sought out adventure and opportunity. That is our true nature - to push our boundaries and limitations to new levels.You don’t have to go on a polar expedition, climb Mount Everest or become an Olympic champion. However, if you don’t try to push yourself out of your comfort zone, you will soon find boredom and life dissatisfaction kicking in.
Human beings have an innate desire for growth and achievement. When you are not challenging yourself and growing, you may start to feel unfulfilled, even if you are comfortable. One of the truest of life’s sayings is that life is not about the destination, it is about the journey. It is about who you become as you undertake the journey. After his Olympic success, Rhys McLenaghan made it clear that even if he hadn't succeeded he would still be happy that he had undertaken the journey he took to get where he is in life.
When you choose comfort, your world doesn’t even stay the same. It shrinks as you become more afraid to do anything which may lie outside your comfort zone. Your comfort zone then shrinks and you become more bored and frustrated with the small, repetitive life you are living.
Example
A professional who achieves a high level of comfort in their career might start feeling restless and unfulfilled after a few years. They might feel a sense of boredom because their work no longer challenges or excites them. And because they have not pushed themselves, they have fallen further and further behind where they need to be to thrive in their career.
Human beings have an innate desire for growth and achievement. When you are not challenging yourself and growing, you may start to feel unfulfilled, even if you are comfortable.
7. Comfort prevents personal development
Personal development requires effort and the willingness to face discomfort. Whether it is learning a new skill, developing healthier habits, or improving relationships, growth comes from pushing through challenges and discomfort. In everyday life, we are not even aware of the areas where we need to grow and develop further. It is the failures and discomforts which we experience which highlight these areas to us. When we come up short, we are forced to analyse the situation to see where we need to improve. This is where we prove that failure is only temporary by turning it into an opportunity for growth and improvement.
By avoiding discomfort, you hinder your personal development. You don't experience the failures or get the opportunity to identify the areas needing improvement. Thus you stagnate. And while you stand still, life does not. So, you fall further and further behind where you really want to be. While where you are right now may seem comfortable today, over time it will become more and more uncomfortable as you fall further behind. Either you seek out the discomfort as an opportunity for growth or the discomfort will eventually come looking for you.
Example
Learning a new skill can be uncomfortable and challenging, especially for older adults. However, pushing through the discomfort leads to personal growth, new opportunities, and the satisfaction of achieving a challenging goal. Remember too that you can avoid the discomfort right now but it will eventually find you.
Ultimate Guide to Goal Setting
To help you step outside your comfort zone, you must set effective goals which challenge and inspire you to take the consistent action.
For more great advice to set and pursue great goals, check out 'Ultimate Guide to Goal Setting'.
How to break free from comfort
Comfort is a trap which holds you back from achieving your full potential. It is a trap from which you need to break free in order to live your best life. To break free from the trap of comfort, consider the following strategies:
1
Set challenging goals
Aim for goals that push you beyond your current abilities. This could be in your career, personal life, or hobbies. The real benefit lies not in the actual achievement of the goals (though that is rewarding) but in the continuous growth and improvement of yourself that is required to keep progressing along the path towards the goal. By the time you achieve a medium/long term goal, you are a completely different person than the one who started on the journey towards the goal.
Challenging goals keep you motivated and focused on growth. They give you a sense of direction and allow you to know what needs to be done each day. You don’t need to know every step along the way. You only need to know what the next step is and then take it.
2
Embrace failure
See failure as a learning opportunity rather than something to be feared. From an early age we seem to be taught to avoid failure as if it is something bad which we need to fear. But anyone who has achieved anything great will tell you that failure is not the opposite to success; it is a critical step along the way. They will talk about how the failures taught them what they needed to do and made them stronger in the process.
Each failure teaches valuable lessons and brings you closer to success. Sport is a great example of this. Many of the greatest champions will lose more than they win throughout their career. It is the failures which gave them the learnings, drive and determination required to reach the peak of their sports. This doesn’t just apply to sport though. It applies to every area of life.
3
Seek new experiences
Regularly expose yourself to new experiences and challenges. This could be through travel, learning new skills, or taking on new projects at work. If you keep doing the same things every day, you will learn nothing new and become too comfortable. When you mix things up, you get to sample new things, see new opportunities and expand your horizons.
New experiences bring with them new challenges. In learning to counter these new challenges, you will learn new skills and gain new knowledge. All of this will serve you well as you push forwards in pursuit of your goals.
4
Build a support network
Surround yourself with people who encourage you to grow and push your limits. Jim Rohn used to say that you are the average of your 5 closest friends. Taking the time to look at who you spend most time with will tell you about the attitude you have taken to life. If you have chosen a comfortable life, you can be sure that your closest friends will be people who also prioritise comfort. There may be one outlier but there won’t be many.
When you realise this, you can see that things can work the other way too. By putting yourself amongst a group of people who push themselves out of their comfort zone, you will soon feel the urge to push yourself too. Because you will want to feel like you belong amongst those people and you won’t if you don’t push beyond your comfort zone.
A strong support network provides motivation and guidance. Whatever your goal, you don't have to go it alone and if your goal is challenging enough, you won’t be able to anyway. Build a strong support network.
Pursuing Excellence
You can learn to challenge yourself and create an excellence based lifestye, with my FREE Pursuing Excellence Report.
5
Reflect on your comfort zones
Self-awareness is critical as is the willingness to be blunt and honest with yourself. Take your time to evaluate each of the important areas of your life and ask yourself if you are really challenging yourself or, if you are choosing comfort over progress. Everybody wants to be happy but happiness is not about what you have; it is about who you are being.
Stop focusing on having what you need to be comfortable and start focusing on who you need to be in order to be genuinely happy. Identify areas of your life where you are too comfortable and consider ways to step out of those zones.
Reflection helps you recognise where you need to grow. When you reflect honestly, you will soon see areas where you have chosen comfort. This is not an excuse to beat yourself up. Rather it is a reason to raise yourself up by introducing more challenge and discomfort to your life.
Ultimate Guide to Goal Setting
To help you step outside your comfort zone, you must set effective goals which challenge and inspire you to take the consistent action.
For more great advice to set and pursue great goals, check out 'Ultimate Guide to Goal Setting'.
Conclusion
While comfort is pleasant, it can be a significant barrier to achieving your best. By recognising the ways in which comfort holds you back and actively seeking challenges and new experiences, you can unlock your full potential. Embrace discomfort as a necessary part of growth, and you will find yourself achieving more than you ever thought possible. Comfort may provide temporary satisfaction, but true fulfilment comes from pushing your limits and continuously striving to be your best. Your best is not fixed in stone; it is fluid and constantly expanding. That is why you need to constantly step outside of your comfort zone so that you can expand your knowledge, skills and actions to meet your best.