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How are you contributing to the problem?

In my capacity as a coach, I regularly have clients and readers contacting me to tell me their problems. If I can offer a quick piece of advice, I do so but there is one reply I use regularly which doesn’t go down well with most people. That reply is:In my capacity as a coach, […]

Test the message received to give clear instructions

To get things done, we are regularly required to cooperate with others. Sometimes, we need them to give us clear instructions to ensure that we can do the best job for them. Other times, it is us who must provide the clear instructions. And there lies a very important point: instructions and clear instructions are not the same thing. When […]

Save the sandwich for lunch – give proper feedback

Feedback is essential for improvement. We all make mistakes and get things wrong from time to time. That is only natural. When things go wrong, we need to be aware of what we did wrong and identify a solution to get it right the next time around. It is in these moments that some of our greatest learning […]

Avoid these mistakes when you have a difficult conversation

A few years back, I was involved in a sports club. There were teams at every age group as well as adult teams. In most cases, those who participated had great fun and were happy being part of the club. But there was one team where there was a major problem – the Under 14’s. […]

Positive Feedback

People love to be appreciated. People who feel appreciated by us, tend to treat us a lot better than those who don’t. So, rather than focus on the negative aspects of someone’s behaviour, why not accentuate the positives? It can be far more effective to identify the behaviours that you would like to see repeated […]

A good friend brings many rewards

‘Birds of a feather flock together’ is one of the oldest sayings and there is a great deal of truth in it. It emphasises the importance of a good friend, Most people assume that it means that people become friends because they are alike. However, it is also true that people become more alike because […]

Expressing feelings improves communication

Expressing feelings is an essential component of effective communication. Whether the aim of the communication is to be positive; or to seek a change in behaviour; expressing feelings reinforces the importance of the message. However, when expressing your feelings it is important that you do so in the correct manner. Expressing feelings, requires you to […]

Constructive Feedback – A positive approach to behaviour change

We have previously discussed the importance of expressing feelings, and encouraging repetition of desirable behaviour, using positive feedback. Sometimes the behaviour you witness is not the behaviour you wish to see. In these instances you could easily get angry and frustrated with the other person. But, this is only likely to result in friction and […]

Making the most of feedback

This week, my friend was asked to provide feedback on a project. The request came from the project leader. As soon as he had delivered the feedback, he realised that she did not really want to receive it. The feedback was dismissed immediately without being given any consideration.Since his discussion with the project leader, 2 […]

The problem with being brutally honest

Honesty is something which I value very highly. I understand that we all embellish stories from to time to time or that we often need to choose the more sensitive route when dealing with those whom we love, however, I tend to become really irritated when people avoid being honest just because it makes their […]

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