Making real connection to enjoy the richnesss of life
When we think of goals, we tend to think of achievements and attainments but these are often the least important things in life. Today, I want to talk to you about one of the most important goals I set for myself this year.
You can click play on the audio below and/or, read the transcript (with time stamps) beneath the audio.
You can learn to communicate with greater assertiveness, effectiveness and compassion, with my FREE Assertiveness Tactics Report.
[00:00:00] Hi - Carthage here from Live Your True Story. I've got a quick tip for you today. Over the last couple of weeks, I sat down to set out my goals for 2021. And instead of setting big ambitious goals this year, especially with what's going on with COVID over last year and how the world has been closed down. I decided it would actually be much better if I focused on behaviors. So, get myself to do those small things regularly, which actually give a great reward. And one of the key areas I wish to focus on is connection.
[00:00:41] Today. I want to talk to you about the importance of connecting with other people, We are, not in this world alone and as much as people even like myself, enjoy spending some time alone, good quality interaction on a regular basis helps to bring the best out of us.
[00:01:00] Not only do we receive the best that others have to give, but even more importantly, it allows us to be the best that we can be. To give our best to be loving, kind, caring, compassionate people. That requires connection with other people. In the modern world, we're doing more and more of our so-called connection through technology.
[00:01:25] I know that things like Zoom and Skype and video call services, such as FaceTime have given us a great opportunity over this pandemic to keep in contact with people whom we can't physically get to see. And that does allow what I would call a reasonable, decent connection. It can never quite live up to face to face connection to being in somebody's presence. To being able to properly read their body language and their responses to what you have to say. To be able to interpret what they are [00:02:00] saying, not just by what you're hearing, but by what you're seeing; that is where real connection comes in. And it's limited a certain amount with video conferencing. But unfortunately I found it in recent years, even before this pandemic we've become too reliant on instant messaging services, such as WhatsApp.
[00:02:20] Now it's great for sending a quick message. Even if it's often to more than one people to WhatsApp groups and such are fantastic, but I think we're too fond of believing that we have properly connected with somebody because we've sent them a couple of messages, even though there's no real interaction there, you're not bouncing off each other.
[00:02:40] You're not experiencing the best that each other has to offer. You're not seeing the body language. You're not feeling that presence, all those things that really make interactions so beautiful. So definitely one of the key targets I've set myself this year is to reach out properly, to some of my true [00:03:00] friends, some whom I've had for years and years who either live locally or they may live a bit further afield, but instead of relying on instant message services this year, I want to preferably get some face to face contact in, if it's possible.
[00:03:15] Obviously we don't know what the year is going to hold. If I can't get that, I'm going to ask myself, can I get a video call in here? Or at least I'm getting most of what I would get with face to face contact. After that, if that's still not possible, then I'll resort to the phone call, but my last option will be instant messages.
[00:03:39] Sure. I'll still be sending some of them here and there. Maybe if I see something interesting on YouTube, for example, which I often do, I often send that on to a friend who might find that useful themselves. And I find that's a great way to help maintain the relationship, but, you know, I genuinely want to see some real content, some real contact [00:04:00] and some real interaction in my life this year, which I sadly haven't been seeing in recent years.
[00:04:07] So when I first thought of this and I considered that, I wanted to spend more time properly interacting with, with friends. You know, people, as I say, in many cases who have known me all my life, or at least for many of my 41 years on this earth; I was worried would they actually be willing to take a call. Would they be willing to do a vice call or a phone call, if I couldn't call it around in person? Or, would I be intruding too much?
[00:04:36] Now isn't that a strange thing to be thinking about your friends? I still live in the housing estate at the moment that I grew up in, a small housing estate in the center of Ireland. We didn't ask if we could call around. We just walked around and knocked on each other's doors. There's still one house in particular that I spent a lot of time in as I grew up and I just walk around the back of their house and in the back door. [00:05:00] Now that might sound strange, but they would actually give out to me if I stopped doing that, if I started knocking. That's the way it's always been and that's the way they want it to stay with us.
[00:05:13] And it's strange that in a relatively short number of years, since all this technology came in, that interaction has switched so much too quick little messages that really don't mean a whole lot. And don't have a whole lot of thought put into them. And because we're replying at different times, there's no chance there to have a deep and meaningful discussion.
[00:05:36] There's no chance to learn something new because we're just firing off messages. We know we want to keep in touch with somebody, but we're not putting the real effort in. So this year, that is something I want to be focusing on; deep, meaningful relationships through deep, meaningful interactions.
[00:05:59] Let me know if that's something you're interested in too.
My Life; My Rules
If you are having difficulty setting healthy and effecitve boundaries, learning to do so will drastically improve your life.
'My Life; My Rules: How to Set Healthy Boundaries' will teach you to do so.