Aggression is something we encounter most days. We are not always on the receiving end. We are all capable of losing control of our emotions from time to time. When you are faced with an aggressive person, it is important to remember that their aggression is not necessarily meant for you. Things may have become too much for them at that moment. You are then faced with a choice, react to the perceived injustice they are inflicting upon you or, respond in an assertive manner which aims to resolve the situation amicably and agreeably. Rather than get defensive, you can choose to manage the aggressive person in that moment.

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6 Tips to manage an aggressive person

These 6 tips will help you to manage an aggressive person and attempt to achieve an amicable and agreeable solution to any conflict.

1. Listen attentively

When conflict arises, it is important to prevent it from escalating. The most common cause of escalation is the failure of one or more people to listen. If you genuinely want to resolve the dispute, you must first gain an understanding of the other person’s position. This requires careful and attentive listening skills. Do not listen with the intention of responding. Listen with the intention of understanding. You can formulate your response afterwards.

 2. Seek to understand them

To follow on from the previous point, it is imperative that you gain a thorough understanding of the other person’s position. Do not go on the defensive. When the aggressive person sees that you are trying to understand their situation; this is often enough to encourage them to calm down and place their trust in you. This creates a more amicable atmosphere where you can work together in an attempt to find an agreeable solution.

 3. Put yourself in their shoes

Perspective is a wonderful thing. When you find yourself faced with an aggressive person, take a moment to try and see things from their viewpoint. Put yourself in their shoes and ask how you would cope with the situation. This helps you to gain a better understanding of the aggressive person and establish some rapport; all of which makes finding a solution more probable.

 4. Be assertive

Just because you are trying to help the aggressive person, it does not mean that you must sacrifice your own needs, opinions or values in the process. You have the right to be assertive and to be treated in a respectful and dignified manner. Advise the aggressive person that you are prepared to help them but that you expect to be treated properly while doing so.

 5. Resist the urge to retaliate

When you have someone behaving in an inappropriate manner, it can be very tempting to retaliate and give them a taste of their own medicine. However, it is always better to respond than to react. When you react, you are allowing the aggressive person to control the situation but when you respond, you are using your assertiveness skills to influence the situation. Which do you think is more likely to achieve an agreeable solution?

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 6. Know when to call it quits

Not all situations can be resolved. If somebody refuses to treat you with respect and behaves in a manner which is completely unreasonable, you are not required to accept it. It is perfectly acceptable for you to state that you are unable to help while they behave in this manner. You can then walk away. If there is somebody who regularly treats you like this, it may be best to end that relationship.  Like a great poker player, you have to know when it is time to fold your hand and leave the table.

If you are having trouble with somebody who is aggressive, you can learn to help them help themselves with the Anger Management Handbook.

We are all capable of losing control of our emotions from time to time. There will be times when you are faced with an aggressive person. Rather than be frightened or upset, you can take charge of the situation and seek an acceptable compromise. Rather than react, you can choose to respond assertively and influence the aggressive person to calm down and work with you to resolve the situation. These tips will help you to resolve most situations amicably.

Image credit: Chance Agrella


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